How to be an Ally
Because the work of community requires intentionality we created this page as a starting point for members to consider how they can best love their neighbors within Oak Life. As a diverse and eclectic church, we are blessed to have people from numerous different backgrounds and experiences within our fellowship. Honoring one another’s unique story is a part of following Jesus and means learning about the ways many have experienced oppression, prejudice, racism, sexism, homophobia, injustice, and more. Disrupting these patterns and cultivating a healing community means we learn the ways we can better support one another in our language and actions.
What does it mean to be an Ally?
For a discussion on what allyship is click here. In short being an ally means to actively support the thriving and health of marginalized groups which you are not a part of.
How can I be more loving in my language?
Here is a great resource called The Micropedia of Microagressions which outlines the ways language has been problematic and harmful.
Ongoing Ideas for Allyship:
Within a church community there are many ways in which we can support one another’s well being. As an ethnically diverse and LGBTQ+ affirming church we should be aware of the ways we’ve normalized heteronormativity and white-ness within the Christian tradition. Below are some ideas for to support one another and continue the work of healing. Again this is a crowd-sourced, ongoing/incomplete list:
-Be mindful of church trauma. Sadly many people find Oak Life after a negative experience in other communities because of their orientation, beliefs, gender, etc. Maintain a posture of openness and humility.
-Recognize your privilege and the ways your voice may have been centered in faith communities. If you’re quick to speak or hold positions of authority, consider allowing spaciousness for others to step in more.
-Be aware of language. Often our churchy language has centered heteronormative relationships and marginalized singleness or LGBTQ+ relationships
-Make your support of marginalized groups visible, especially within church contexts. This might look like posting on social media or showing up in solidarity at events.
-Amplify voices and leaders from marginalized communities. There are countless invaluable contributions to faith communities from marginalized groups that often get overlooked but have much to offer.
-Do your own work. Don’t put the burden of learning on marginalized groups. There are numerous resources and spaces to learn/grow.
-Speak up and lovingly call others in when communication is problematic. We’re all works in progress so it’s important not to shame or guilt others in their growth.
-Keep Learning. Discipleship is a lifelong journey Here is one great resource: the Human Rights Campaign’s LGBTQ+ Allyship guide
-Build Relationships. One of the best ways to deepen empathy, compassion, and love is through sincere friendships that cross identities and backgrounds. Developing relationships requires personal growth and respect.
-Honor/Support Boundaries. While building relationships is a beautiful thing, so is honoring the boundaries of others. Not all people in a church community will be friends, but we should respect and support one another. Additionally, there are affinity groups within Oak Life that provide safety and shared experience for specific groups, which we celebrate.
-Don’t try to change peoples minds. Many of us have been conditioned to try and “convert” people to our personal views or our theology. Being an ally means supporting the diversity of views in our community with a posture of respect, curiosity, and humility.
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Other Ideas for how to be an ally?
Share them below!